Will Divorce Make Me Happy?

Marriage is meant to be a long term union between two people who love and cherish each other. Saying “I do “ means that you are making a promise to your partner as you begin your journey together. Sometimes things don’t always work according to how we plan. Sometimes being in marriage can be a difficult situation which can only be solved by a divorce.

Reasons why you might need a divorce

By the time you are considering the possibility of a divorce, then it means that something in your relationship isn’t quite right. There are many couples who even after going through couples therapy, decide that divorce is a more suitable solution. There are several reasons that might lead a couple to divorce.

Love affair

The pain of being heartbroken by someone who you once held dear, can be devastating. Infidelity is a major cause of broken homes. If your spouse was involved with another person then trying to fix your marriage can be difficult. Trust is such an important component of a relationship that is hard to fix. If you are the one who cheated, then it probably means that you were not happy in your marriage and was trying to find that happiness elsewhere. Either way, cheating is a sign that the marriage is on the edge.
Couples therapy has been known to work by helping couples to identify the root cause of the problem. This does not always work, maybe because some relationships are just too far gone and therefore nothing can be salvaged. At this point, the only way out is a divorce if at all you want to live peacefully.

You don’t seem to understand each other

Communication is an integral part of any marriage. Clearly stating your opinion about a given matter that will affect your relationship is dependent on the listening skills of your spouse. Poor communication can rapidly develop into frustration and animosity, therefore, destroying the entire relationship.

Your marriage should be a safe place where you can vent out all your life’s frustrations. It is always comforting to know that you have a partner who will pay attention to what you are saying no matter how dumb it sounds. If your marriage lacks proper communication and you two just don’t seem to get along about anything then this is a red flag. Do you always seem to fight about almost anything? Does one of you always seem to walk away during an argument? All these are signs that should show you that your marriage is heading the wrong way. When verbal communication does not exist in your marriage then there will be increased misunderstandings. You should probably start searching for a good divorce attorney if all attempts to solve your communication problems has failed.

Physical and/or emotional abuse

Your safety should always take priority in any marriage. These forms of abuse (physical and emotional) have long term effects that could cause permanent damage. When a deliberate intent is made by your partner to cause you physical harm, then this is what is known as physical abuse. This problem is present in some marriages where the victims continue to suffer in silence. This form of abuse doesn’t usually just go away, your decision to stay in such a marriage only makes things worse.

There are cases where physical abuse becomes so severe that it leads to death. When weapons are used during arguments or throwing of heavy items, then this might be the time to leave.

Emotional abuse is a bit difficult to detect because there is no physical evidence to show for it. This type of abuse involves continuous insults that undermine and lower the victim’s self-worth. Though it might take time to recognize such abuse, it can permanently scar the victim for life. Your partner should never make you feel like you are worthless. Marriage is all about uplifting each other as you celebrate both weaknesses and strengths.
Sadly, there comes a time when you have to think about what is right for you. Sometimes what is right involves requesting for divorce so that you can begin to heal, both physically and emotionally.

Your kid’s welfare

Children lighten up a marriage by bringing an unexplainable joy that comes with being a parent. Like most parents, all you want to do is keep them safe and ensure they are healthy. Sometimes, however, as a parent, you feel like your marriage is affecting your children. Constant arguments and silence in the house can make the kids feel worried and agitated. Children always want to see their parents in good moods with each other.

The first step should be to try and fix whatever problem you are going through in your marriage.If nothing can be done, then you should consider filing for a divorce for the sake of your kids. Sometimes it is better for the kids to have separated parents that are happy than having them mad at each other all the time.

When filing for divorce in cases where children are involved, it is important to mutually agree about custody to avoid further conflict. Always take into consideration the welfare of the children because they deserve quality time with both parents. You will be happy to know that even though your marriage failed, your children will be okay.

Reduced intimacy

As the years go by in your marriage, some couples begin to experience reduced intimacy with their spouses. That fire that was always ignited when you set your eyes on your partner no longer burns. Your best friend and life partner suddenly becomes a stranger who cannot relate to your feelings and desires.

Sometimes this problem is not always about your sexual relationship. Continuous failure of ignoring your partner’s needs can take a huge toll on your relationship. If you no longer feel the bond you once shared with your spouse, then something might definitely wrong with your marriage. Intimacy should continue to grow as your marriage grows so that you can both be happy.

If nothing seems to work as far as intimacy is concerned, then maybe its time to move on. If the two of you have put in work and effort to restore your intimacy without success then you find happiness in divorce. Sometimes not much can be done to salvage the situation, no matter how hard you try.

Rushed into marriage

Dating is a continuous process that allows us to know if the person we are with is truly the one. Marriage is very different from dating because you will now have to live with this person and share everything. This is usually the difficult part because once you learn that this person is not who you think he or she was then the marriage begins to fall apart.

If you made a rash decision into marriage then chances are that you might want a divorce because you did not take time to know your partner. Marriage is a solid foundation built on so many factors including knowing and understanding your partner. Figuring out that you are married to someone who has a different outlook on life can be devastating.

You might discover that your partner has no plans whatsoever of having children in the near future while all you have ever wanted is to have your own kids with the right person. Sometimes your religious beliefs could be the source of your constant arguments. There are so many things that you should know about your spouse before tying the knot. Failure to do so might simply result in a never-ending disagreement about one thing after another.

Addiction

Addiction to alcohol, drugs or gambling can cause discord in a marriage. Toxic forms of addiction can lead to bankruptcy, therefore, endangering the welfare of the entire family including children. Drugs and substance abuse creates a hostile environment for those involved especially children who might accidentally be interested in knowing how the drugs work. If relevant measures have been taken towards rehabilitating your spouse to recover from the addiction has failed, then divorce might be a solution.

Alcohol and drugs cause judgment impairment which might lead to a trail of poor decisions that does not put into consideration your happiness. Addicts usually care about their own happiness which can be acquired only when they feed into their addiction. Sometimes separating from such a partner might be one way to help them realize the effects of the addiction.

If you are the one who is battling addiction, then separating with your spouse can be good for them. At this point, it is important to note that your happiness might be as a result of protecting them from the toxic environment that you subject them to. Keeping the marriage going might be doing you more harm than good hence the decision to file for a divorce.

Lack of financial support

Handling finances in a marriage is a collective responsibility. When you are in a situation where your spouse refuses to offer any form of support especially if he is the provider in the relationship. Life can sometimes be difficult especially if you have to shoulder all the incoming bills.
If your spouse intentionally refuses to help out with the bills even though they are capable then it is time to seek legal action. Sometimes staying in marriages where the couples don’t work as a team can be depressing. Bringing together funds that can really help in maintaining a certain lifestyle.

If your spouse still refuses to offer help even after trying to reason with them, then you might want to file for a divorce. You would rather move out and live your life knowing that you are taking care of yourself with whatever income you make.

Related by blood

Sometimes when you are with your friends and meet this charming person, the last thing on your mind is usually whether you are related or not. So when you find yourself in a situation where you accidentally get married to a close relative, then it can be devastating.

Experts especially those who understand how marriage works, usually advise couples to know about each other’s lineage. It is such a small world and relatives don’t often meet much, this could lead to you dating your cousin or a stepbrother or sister.

Divorce is usually the best solution in such cases because if ever you have a child from such a union then he or she might develop serious genetic disorders. The decision of divorcing your spouse can be mutual especially in the event where you both regret being in such a relationship. Find a divorce attorney who will understand your situation and help speed up the process. You can talk it over with your spouse to find out what will best work for you. You can involve close family members in the matter who will offer their guidance and support in the matter.

Married to another person

Bigamy is when your spouse gets married to you while still married to someone else. If you had no idea about the previous marriage then you have the right to file for a divorce. Deception can be very overwhelming especially when you find out that you are not the only partner in your spouse’s life.

The moment you discover that this key information was hidden from you is when you begin to question your marriage. A relationship built on lies cannot last long because it means that one person in the relationship is dishonest. Marriage is based on trust and the moment you find out that you have trusted the wrong person is when you decide to move on.

Will you be happy after the divorce?

Maybe. Filing for divorce means that you no longer want to be in a relationship with your spouse. You will, therefore, be happy knowing that you won’t have to put up with all their deceit and troubles. You will be stepping out to live your life as you want without anybody holding you back.