Divorce mediation is an alternative to court litigation for resolving disputes that arise as two people separate their lives. An unbiased third party known as “mediator” helps both of the spouses to work through the problem of their divorce and reach a mutually agreeable settlement.
When spouses files for legal separation or divorce, they may have separate opinion on the issues like property division, custody of the children or support. A judge can never be aware about your relationship in such a way as your family, your partner or you yourself. So, if most or all of the issues are solved out of the court. It saves both time and money. Remember to speak with a divorce lawyer in Salt Lake City Utah if you have questions about this process.
Mediation has been used successfully oftentimes. This process is based on the facts or reasons not on the emotions and feelings. It provides a climate of co-operation and mutual respects for deciding their future .All is sorted out in the presence of divorce mediator.
People consider divorce mediation more beneficial than to carry the divorce on the legal contest by judicial work. Most of the couple who have undergone by this process often says:
• Mediation saves the time.
• Mediation helps them in making the best decision for their family and for themselves also.
• Mediation improves the communication between the couple.
• Mediation is affordable and most convenient method for getting divorce.
• Mediation protects the children from the pain of parental dilemma.
• Mediation also provides a great satisfaction to both the spouses than those people who go for trial method.
• Mediation gives you and your spouse power to create an agreement that meets to the needs of the both partners.
• In mediation there is no win or lose so mediation is more peaceful than law driven divorce.
• In litigation process your future is decided by the two lawyers and a judge. But in mediation you and your partner decide your future by negotiation.
• Mediation also allows to you and your partner to decide the time when you both are available for the proceedings. But on the other hand judge gives you the time for hearing without being considering your personal needs.
• Mediation reduces the economic or emotional costs during the family disputes.
The Mediator is completely unbiased. He (or she) does not take side of any partner. This factor helps the mediator to resolve the disputes effectively. Mediation is kept confidential. It is only helpful if both the spouse is interested to resolve the issue. In mediation clients make their own decision either they want to continue their relationship or want to move apart. The Mediator’s role is just to provide you direction and a suitable environment for negotiations. A Mediator explains them the consequences of divorce such as its impact on the children, your finances, and your future.
Mediation needs both party agreements for the mediation process. If anyone is not willing to do the agreement then the mediation is not a feasible option. You and your partner is in the state that they can make their own decision without any fear. You must have the sound mind for mediation.
How does divorce mediation work:
1. Finding a mediator:
Once the decision has made that partners are going the mediate then next step is to find a mediator. Many countries have community based mediation center. Sometime court may provide a mediator or allow both the parties to find a best mediator on which both are satisfied. Mediator may be a lawyer or not. Fee for mediation varies from the case to case or mediator to mediator. Mediator charges on the hourly bases. He provides an atmosphere of negotiation. He doesn’t give decision that who is wrong or right. Both the parties reach to the solution on their own that is most suitable for them.
A Mediator has the power of comprehending the human feelings and emotions. A good Mediator will provide you such a supportive environment that you will feel like you are discussing your problems with a family member. He actually understands the intensity of the situation. Always chose that mediator who understands to your philosophy and the feelings. Remember that you are the most important person in the process of mediation. A good mediator always first knows about their client’s goal for divorce mediation. Then he judges that either that goal is in alignment for his own inclination in such type of cases.
2. Introductory stage:
In the first step of mediation mediator will familiarize you about the process of mediation. The mediator lays the foundation for the rest of the mediation. You should ask each and everything about the process. You have to tell him all the background history of your relationship and why you are going to apart from each other. Mediator will explain you the how mediation will be conducted. He will tell you many ways by which you can make your communication with your spouse effective.
3. Gathering the information:
In order to make the mediation successful you and your spouse have to tell the mediator the facts about your case. In such case if the information which your mediator is unavailable or in dispute then mediator will also aid you in finding out the detail. For example you are unable to locate your copy of the life insurance policy then mediator might help you by suggesting that you should contact to the broker who sold you that policy or you should contact the insurance company. In this step the mediator will discuss the basic rules that may apply to your case such as how custody of the child and child support would be decided, how judge will divide your assets. This type of information will provide you planning that which beneficial approach must be followed to solve the problem. Mediator will demand you the document needed such as bank statements and mortgage statements (to give someone a legal claim on the property you own in exchange for the money that you will pay back over a period of years).All the thing occurring during mediation , the matter that are revealed or any record made are kept confidential. It is not displayed to anyone else unless both the partners agree to reveal it.
After gathering all these information the mediator will provide you the summary you have provided. If client thinks that all the mandatory information has jotted down then mediator would stop the process of gathering the information. This stage may consist of two or more sessions
4. Framing stage:
In third stage the mediator finds out the interests of each partner. These interests consist of the personal benefits, goals, needs and values .This thing will provide the mediator to find the hub role of mediation. It helps him to find a solution that will approach each of the partner interest. Most of the issues such as debt division and child custody etc, are solved according to their interest. Most of interest of the partners overlaps such as their concerns for their child and family. This will helps the mediator in finding the settlement for their common concerns. Sometime both the partners have to compromise regarding their concern.
Some mediator prefers the separate session for the both partners for framing the interests. Although it is time taking and costly for the mediator because he has to deliver the same demands to the other partner but these type of private session helps each spouse to discuss emotional elements , delicate information ,domestic issues. All the information reveled in this session is kept confidential but some prefer the mutual session because they think that this will create a great sense of communication.
A good mediator always encourages having the private suggestion of their own envoy. Because it is a kind of judgments either the divorce mediator is doing his work accurately or not. That’s why most of mediators do not recommend taking counsel from outside because they do not want another set of eyes on his decisions.
5. Negotiation stage:
Mediation is a transparent process; you and your wife will both need to be prepared to engage in a good faith negotiation. That’s mean you need to reveal and openly disclose all relevant information, whether financially, or to the mediator or to your wife, and ensure that the information is accurate, complete and truthful to the best of your knowledge. If you and your wife hide assets and defraud others you will not have a successful mediation.
Most lawyers will tell you not even try to negotiate a divorce settlement with your wife. That’s because most lawyers believe that they can negotiate for you better than you can negotiate for yourself. Usually they can…..but not always…That’s because when your lawyer gets involved and your wife’s lawyer gets involved, you end up with two lawyers playing chess with your life. Plus you pay for that, so you should at least try to negotiate for yourself. Not everyone can do that and mediation can resolve matters more than you realize.
Tips for how to negotiate a divorce settlement:
• Understand your finances before taking decision
• Learn your legal rights and responsibilities, especially think about your children
• Know what you want and need
• Know what your wife needs
• Know your bottom line
• Be flexible
• Set some ground rules
• Always have a strategy and plan
• Greed will make any reasonable financial negotiation impossible.
• Anger will waste your time and energy.
• Wrong desires will fire up old memories.
• Pride causes pause.
• Fear is not good in mediation.
Once the framework for the negotiation has developed with the help of the mediator .Now the mediator will help the spouses to make a final settlement which is according to the interest and value of both the spouses. They select best options by carefully discussing a lot of the options with the mediator.
6. Conclusion of Mediation:
In this stage, agreement decided is put into the words and circulated to the both the spouses for carefully reading the agreement with their advisers. If your mediator is a divorce lawyer then he can make a draft agreement that will be submitted to the court later. If your mediator is not a divorce lawyer then he has no right to draft the agreement he will only make the memorandum containing basic points. After the agreement has made then both of the partners have their own advisor for consultation.
If your case is simple then the mediator may give you the opportunity to sign the agreement in the negotiation session when you have done with the negotiation. This memorandum contains the major points of the agreement. After the review by both parties lawyer then things are highlighted that needs further discussion. This agreement can be used as a basis for making the general settlement agreement that is filled in the presence of the court and now the divorce case will become uncontested.
7. Follow up Phase:
Most of the mediation process does not conclude this step. But I think it must be a part of mediation. After some months of the mediation the mediator should contact their clients either their agreement is going smoothly or there is some issue regarding the implementation or your parenting plans needs adjusting etc. a mediator should arrange a Skype call or voice call to both the ex partners and should try to remove the existing bumps between them .
You should make every attempt to settle down the issue and live happily ever after. If this does not happen then the best way to separate from each other is that the parties should hire a good divorce lawyer and engaged in meaningful mediation for divorce rather than the litigation process. It will save their next generation from the worse impacts of their separation.
Divorce Mediation Lawyer Free Consultation
When you need legal help for divorce mediation in Salt Lake City, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506 for your free consultation. We will help you.
8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C
West Jordan, Utah
84088 United States
Telephone: (801) 676-5506